bleh....so far ive lost 9lbs...tis slow goin tho..this all n a lil ova 3wks now i fink......*sighs*...n tonite..well i dunno but tis one of those nites im beatin myself up....ive always h8d myself...n im findin it hard ta believe sumone can truly love me for me...the way i am now...yes im workin on improvin outter appearances...ive workd so long on improvin my inner self...now its far past time i work on the outside...mayb once i can honestly say i at least like myself ill b able ta believe sumone is capable of lovin me as i am....as it stands i feel unloveable...how can sumone else love me when i cant even love myself??? jes seems impossible...i guess my impatience jes wishes i could b how i wanna b like NOW!!!...n thats jes not happenin....bleh....now that becs is gonna b gone from online i think ima take sum time away as well...this is a big fing for me n it mite take sum time...ill b round from time ta time...but tis time ta work on this...least ta where i like me...*sighs*